last night i had many dreams. last night i dreamt that i stumbled upon a big hall filled with silent people. i saw on old childhood friend and i hugged her and started laughing and she told me 'terry and david are dead' and i wiped the tears from her face. last night i dreamt that pauly shore climed into bed with me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. last night i dreamt that i watched a baby die. it was tottering around at the top of a big flight of stairs (which may or may not have been at the newmarket movie theatre) and i watched it sort of trip off the edge. something about its movement was like a jump, or a take off and i emitted this gutteral sound from my throat. my parents were sitting down near and told me calmly to go after the baby. i started running and i felt movement behind me that i thought was likely to be the toddlers parents but i didnt turn around. my gaze was fixed on the somersaulting child who seemed to be gaining momentum. running down stairs isnt physically exerting but its difficult to keep your balance, it felt as if i moved any faster i too would be falling. i saw the baby land with a sickening thud and i knew by the skewed limbs and the glassy reflection in its open eyeballs that the creature was dead. my first thought was embarrasment by the awkward situation, was this, like, my fault? then what i assumed to be the bereaved sister appeared just behind me and i turned with eyes filled with tears expecting the worst. i felt so traumatised, what a blemish on my clean life. instead the young girl was crouching next to a laughing puppy or toy that i had not noticed before and she was smiling, she was relieved, she was singing. i picked up the deformed baby and it was nothing but an unblinking doll.