30/12/07

last night i dont remember falling asleep. i dont remember the strange space between sleep approaching and wakefulness. i was lying awkwardly in the strangely familiar bedroom with stifling shared air and my right knee was pushing the wall outwards as if into the pantry on the other side. i felt like i would always be awake yet awake in the dark and in a solidary solitary position. the rectangular light at the foot of the bed was spinning in a clockwise spiral towards the kitchen and around again and then at some point i rolled over and was not conscious of the change in light while the temperature felt indifferent to my clammy body. it was new years eve eve and i was intoxicated. i did not dream and awoke to voices feeling as if i had been without rest for many days.